Letter to my first-year self
Dear skinnier self
You will think the meal times are ridiculous, and res will remind you of an old age home; breakfast at the crack of dawn, lunch bang on twelve and supper far too early at five o’clock. But by the second week you will fit into this routine, until your stomach starts growling at 4.30pm.
Remember before you came to university when you were so scared to eat res food? You vowed you would never eat the meat and become a vegetarian. This is probably a good idea, as you will discover when someone sees a truck of ‘F-Grade Meat’ unloading boxes behind your dining hall. The soya sausages may look like turds but really they taste nice, better than meat even and a lot healthier.
Don’t be paranoid about missing meals. You don’t have to wake up early just to have breakfast, rather buy a bag of apples. And don’t keep them in the fridge or try and save yoghurt. People will steal your saved yoghurts out of the fridge. When this happens, resist the urge to steal their yoghurt back, because what goes around comes around, and one day they might steal your bottle of champagne, or leave fingerprints in the vodka jelly.
If there is one vital food tip I can convey it is this: stay away from the toast! Toast is very tempting, especially when there is peanut butter and syrup available, but toast is every skinny girl’s downfall. Especially when the toaster flattens your toast to a crisp slice, it doesn’t feel as though you are eating anything, but five weeks and 2kgs down the line you will wish you hadn’t eaten so much toast. It’s better to be a healthy hippy.
Unbooking your meals is your best kept secret from your parents. You can unbook up to R1000’s worth of food and reclaim it at the end of the term to go backpacking in Transkei or to Earthdance party in Cape Town. Starving yourself for money is not as bad as selling yourself, so don’t feel guilty. Above all, exercise! And don’t drink too much beer.
Your older and wiser food guru,
Caeri
You will think the meal times are ridiculous, and res will remind you of an old age home; breakfast at the crack of dawn, lunch bang on twelve and supper far too early at five o’clock. But by the second week you will fit into this routine, until your stomach starts growling at 4.30pm.
Remember before you came to university when you were so scared to eat res food? You vowed you would never eat the meat and become a vegetarian. This is probably a good idea, as you will discover when someone sees a truck of ‘F-Grade Meat’ unloading boxes behind your dining hall. The soya sausages may look like turds but really they taste nice, better than meat even and a lot healthier.
Don’t be paranoid about missing meals. You don’t have to wake up early just to have breakfast, rather buy a bag of apples. And don’t keep them in the fridge or try and save yoghurt. People will steal your saved yoghurts out of the fridge. When this happens, resist the urge to steal their yoghurt back, because what goes around comes around, and one day they might steal your bottle of champagne, or leave fingerprints in the vodka jelly.
If there is one vital food tip I can convey it is this: stay away from the toast! Toast is very tempting, especially when there is peanut butter and syrup available, but toast is every skinny girl’s downfall. Especially when the toaster flattens your toast to a crisp slice, it doesn’t feel as though you are eating anything, but five weeks and 2kgs down the line you will wish you hadn’t eaten so much toast. It’s better to be a healthy hippy.
Unbooking your meals is your best kept secret from your parents. You can unbook up to R1000’s worth of food and reclaim it at the end of the term to go backpacking in Transkei or to Earthdance party in Cape Town. Starving yourself for money is not as bad as selling yourself, so don’t feel guilty. Above all, exercise! And don’t drink too much beer.
Your older and wiser food guru,
Caeri
